I could never be Maya.

As far as integration goes, I've been doing my best but I've known for quite some time now that I could never be Maya. One of the first times I realized this was while washing clothes in the creek. I don't mind scrubbing my wardrobe bent over a rock, actually find it quite enjoyable. The problem lies in only being able to do my own. No way could I wash for an entire family, not to mention Luisa still washes my sheets. So I can wash for myself just fine, or so I thought until given a lesson by a six year old. "Miss Amy, your socks are dirtied again." She grabbed them out of my bucket and placed them back on my rock. I scrubbed them a little longer placing them, okay, I admit, I even tried hiding them knowing they weren't as white as they should be. My critic was right on top of it though. "Miss Amy, your socks are dirtied again." I explained to her maybe I didn't know how to wash socks... obviously. She then cleaned my socks white white and must have worried about me not being able to wash my person because she asked who would wash my hair and after I shampooed it once myself she had me sit down so she could do a better job. The soaping didn't stop there and I have to say this was the first time I've been given a bath since, well, you'd have to ask my mom when she thought I was able to do it on my own, I guess I'm still not. But now I"m getting off topic because having someone shampoo my hair is definitely something I could get used to. I felt so refreshed plus my companion spoke to me as if I understood Ke'kchi and that would help with the next reason full integration will never take place.
You want me to make what sound? The glottal stop is where? Ever since training I've struggled with pronounciation. The throaty j's and silent b's give me trouble and after several times trying to say "jun" correctly I realized this will never happen. I'm also convinced I'll never have the extra layer of tough skin that allows for walking barefoot and grabbing hot panhandles. My attention span isn't as long either since I'm unable to stay awake until midnight for church service, mostly singing and clapping, then wake up to do it again the next morning for another six hours. I can't hear the bus until it's coming up the hill let alone distinguish one from another and if the corn mill is running there's no hope for me. I feel like if I would try searching the bush for edible plants I would end up poisoning myself and anyone unlucky enough to have dined with me. Maya women also have the ability to make a meal out of nothing it seems and they can knead like mad. I'm at it for what seems like forever only to find out the dough is still just as hard. I can't figure out how to wash my hands while holding the bowl that's pouring the water and I don't know what to do with chicken feet. I just realized how negative this post may seem, but it's all good; I'm having fun trying. Maybe in time some of these things will come along. I mean I was told by a woman in my village, "you can do what we do," after helping prepare a meal to feel most of the village. And being told you're a hardworker by a Mayan woman is quite the compliment, but all the time in the world could make me able to breast feed a toddler while standing on a moving bus, and keep in mind how bumpy those rides can be.